Bill Zebub’s corpse was discovered early this morning by groundskeepers. The late director was fond of late night swimming in the many pools on his 8-acre property in eastern Pennsylvania. it appears that he fell asleep on an air mattress and rolled over in the deep end. It is widely known that Bill Zebub lost the ability to swim after a recent amputation of his feet, due to complications of diabetes.

Bill Zebub’s widow requests privacy during this time. For the sake of his three children, it is requested that all inquiries be paused until after the grieving period.